Monday, July 23, 2012

A step closer - into detachment

I can see the wisdom of T I M E and how beneficial it is to my ability to be able to detach from other people's difficulties. I realize too that I'm okay with taking care of my needs after all of those years of taking care of others and putting myself last.....It's time.

This came crystal clear to me when I received another letter from my son who is currently in confinement as a result of his abuse of privileges within the correctional institution. This particular letter was not much different than any other previous ones with the usual "please do this for me" "please arrange for my stuff to be delivered to your house" etc etc. There was also mentions of dismissing my suggestion toward getting into a long term treatment center when he is released, instead he states that he would prefer to look for work and be homeless for a while while he saves up money for an apartment. Also that he wants to come back to our area because he is familiar with the surroundings (didn't he hear about people, places and things?) and because we won't be around much longer (helllloooo, I'm not even 60 yet) and that he wants to spend as much time with us as possible before we die!

I've since replied to his requests and have expressed that he needs to stop looking to us to take care of his stuff....we've picked up stuff, delivered stuff, made phone calls about stuff and on and on it went for one time too many. I think that it's high time he takes care of his stuff and might as well get into practice doing it by himself as we're not going to be around forever.

Don't really know how he's reacting to this late news but that's not my problem at this point. I would bet that he's not even surprised about this either. One thing that I know for certain and that is....he is very resourceful and usually he is able to get what he needs when he wants it.....if we are not 'it', he usually finds others.

I actually feel relieved that I've finally stated it so clearly as in the past I always tried to soft pedal it with the idea of minimizing the discomforts that he seems to surrounds himself with.....as if I had any control over any of it.

More to be revealed....for sure.

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