Tuesday, August 9, 2011


I've been receiving a weekly letter from my son and most of his words are painful to read. There isn't any good news that he gets to share quite the contrary.....it's all about his current painful body. Thankfully he doesn't have any broken bones but still suffers from the beating and continues to be in pain with no much relief. He is also feeling as if he is going loony from being locked up by himself for the past two weeks and wonders how much longer he can last. And then of course the pleas for helping....with soap, toothpaste, deodorant etc etc.
As much as I hate to hear of the conditions that he is finding himself into, I know too from past experience that if I give an inch, the demands for 2 inches will start to come and then there's no end to it all.
I waited several days before sitting down and writing back....I take some time to gather up my thoughts and a few days to detach from the pain that comes through the words. I guess this morning I was ready because i managed to write 3 pages.
I shared what is going on in my life and the struggle that my mother is going through as well. I sent him a photo of the statue of liberty....with the significance of freedom.....something to look forward to. I also shared a few words of positive thoughts and sent him my healing prayers.
I did convey that I look forward to see him when he gets out of the confinement box and wondered how long that's going to be. I also empathized with his conditions of living and told him that I hope he feels better soon.
God, grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Do and Don't

-- Focus on your own reactions and attitudes.
-- Allow other people to accept their own responsibilities.
-- Manage your anxieties ONE DAY AT A TIME.
-- Invest time reading helpful literature.
-- Learn to be open and honest.
-- Involve yourself in Families Anonymous.
-- Encourage all attempts to seek help
-- Seek the good in others AND in yourself.

-- Accept guilt for another person's acts.
-- Nag, argue, lecture, or recall past mistakes.
-- Overprotect, cover up, or rescue from consequences.
-- Neglect yourself or be a doormat.
-- Yearn for perfection.
-- Manipulate or make idle threats.
-- Overlook the growth opportunities of a crisis.
-- Underestimate the importance of "release with love".
-- Sit at at home feeling depressed when you could be attending a FA
meeting, helping yourself and others.

Bookmark #2001
Available for purchase at www.familiesanonymous.org

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Surrender Box

A tool for me to let go of my burdens so the universe can take care of them.
Today I put my worries in it....I am putting down the fact that my son has lost another 20 pounds this past month. I know that he is experiencing the natural consequences of his actions and that he's sitting in 'the hole' and that I didn't put him there. I feel compassion for his heartaches, loneliness and physical pains.
So, today....I surrender my sorrows for there is nothing I can do about tomorrows.


Just got a call out of the blue from my brother today, it was nice to hear from him and it didn't occur to me that he might be calling with the news that he shared.
One of my mom's friend was trying to call her repeatedly and she hadn't returned the call which was really unusual for her. She contacted my brother while he was in the wilderness fishing to tell him of her concerns, since he couldn't get there in a timely manner, he called the police.
The police found my mother laying in the bathroom, she had been in the same position for two days and was very disoriented. She was transported to the hospital and has been waiting for a bed, stationed in a hallway....apparently a common procedure in Canada with the 'free' health care programs.
My brother and my sis-in-law were informed that she will not be returning to her home but will be placed in an assisted living facility. My brother will try to get her moved near him so that he can visit her more often. He will get to talk to the social worker in charge on Friday.
I will then make my plans to go and visit/assist in any way that I can.
This past year has been really hard for her and she has taken quite a down turn with her balance, memory and being depressed from her inability to do the things that she used to enjoy......all her friends have passed on and she is lonely.
I have not spent a whole lot of time with her since I've moved in the U.S.A. Money, work and what not....got in the way. Not only that, but I never felt really close to her and every visit left me drained and emotionally exhausted. Each time I arrived.....I wondered why I went. But for all the hurts, the pains, the lack of understanding and on and on and on.....she is still my mother and I love her so.